Wednesday, May 13, 2009

What I learned when I was 5


When I was 5 years old, my older brothers, once again, tried to get me into trouble.  My dad came home from work every night at the exact same time, 5:30pm.  On this particular night, my brothers told me to tell my dad “fuck you” when he came home. 

“What does that mean?”

“It means you love him.”

Armed with this new-found word, I excitedly waited for my dad to come home.  When he opened the door at 5:30 pm, I happily yelled “FUCK YOU!”  He grabbed me, raced me upstairs, and put soap in my mouth.  I cried hysterically, told him what happened, and he grounded my brothers for a week. 

Lessons learned? 1. “Fuck you” doesn’t mean “I love you.”  2. Never trust my brothers.

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